Everything You...
by athingsublime
Summary: It's time for the annual ER banquet, and confessions are made.
1. Everything You...

Title: Everything You...   
Author: Noa   
Summary: It's time for the annual ER banquet, and confessions are   
made.   
Spoiler: Tiny mention of episode 2, season 8 event, but other then   
that, no spoiler at all.   
Time line: Somewhere between season 7 and 8.   
Archive: Oh, please do just let me know where...   
Feedback: YES! sharlothotmail.com   
Thanks/Dedication: Blair, my LLT, for waiting so long. ;)   
All the Jinters at FF, for inspiring me, and not letting me lose hope.   
Kee, my dear, for beta reading. You rock.   
Disclaimer: They belong to NBC/John Wells/whatever. All of 'em. I   
just take them, use 'em, and ditch 'em. Yes, like a true bitch. ;)   
And the song "I'll stand by You" belongs to The Pretenders.   
  
+++++   
  
"You really love her, don't you?" She asked the guy in the tux, as   
they sat together next to the table.   
  
He gave her a quick glance, then looked at his glass again. "I   
thought I did."   
  
She was silent for a few moments. "Thought?"   
  
"Yeah," he said, letting go a sigh he'd been holding back since they   
first sat there. "I used to think I was in love with her. Used to   
think it was more then a love for a friend..."   
  
"And now you think you're wrong?" she asked, partly hoping he would   
say yes.   
  
"I don't think, I'm sure. Because... I finally realized who I really   
loved, since I first saw her."   
  
"Do I... know her?"   
  
He nodded, and took a sip from his glass. "Yes, you do. But she   
doesn't see me... Not the way I wish she would."   
  
---   
  
ER banquets were usually very fun. Everyone seemed to have hell of a   
time. Heck, even Weaver joined everyone when they danced.   
  
But something was different on this banquet. Although he couldn't   
really tell what it was. Could be the fact he was lonely. Yeah, so he   
wasn't the only one, but it sure seemed like it. Yes, she was   
there... Only he couldn't do a thing about it.   
  
At least, he didn't have the courage to do anything.   
  
Worst case, she would simply laugh in his face. Best case, she would   
tell him she only wanted to be friends.   
  
Either way, he wouldn't get what he wanted. And he wanted her,   
dammit. He craved every single thing about her. But he always knew   
he'd never get it.   
  
She didn't want him that way.   
  
---   
  
She watched all the couples dancing to the sounds of a familiar   
song. "I'll Stand by You".   
  
+++   
When the night falls on you,   
You don't know what to do,   
Nothing you confess   
Could make me love you less   
I'll stand by you,   
I'll stand by you,   
Won't let nobody hurt you,   
I'll stand by you.   
+++   
  
She couldn't help but feel sad as she watched all the couples. She   
spotted Luka and Abby dancing close to the corner. Rumors said they   
had had a huge fight, but she figured they either got over it, or it   
just never happened.   
  
Mark and Elizabeth were dancing in the middle of the dance floor,   
looking happier then ever. Then again, when were they unhappy for   
more then five minutes?   
  
And then there was Benton and Cleo, although they weren't dancing.   
They sat next to one of tables, Cleo holding Reese. Last she heard   
from Haleh, Benton won custody of Reese, and she had to admit, she   
was envious. Why did she have to give Michael up for adoption...?   
  
She shrugged it off. Have fun now, pity yourself later.   
  
"Deb?" he said, disturbing her thoughts. She looked at him, and he   
saw it as a sign she was listening. "Since we're both... alone   
here... You wanna dance?" he asked, stretching all the words but the   
last three, which he said rather quickly.   
  
She nodded, trying to keep herself cool, although she was literally   
feeling butterflies inside. Yeah, so it wasn't a sign of anything...   
He only wanted to dance with her because he had no one else. But it   
was still something, wasn't it?   
  
He took her hand, and led her to the dance floor. Her hand felt so   
good. Warn and gentle... Just like she remembered from the time he   
helped her during the birth of Michael.   
  
As they reached it, he rested his hands on her waist, and she wrapped   
her own around his neck.   
  
She gave him a weak smile, trying to release some of the awkwardness   
the situation caused. He returned her smile, studying the lines of   
her face. She was incredibly beautiful, and her smile just made her   
prettier.   
  
  
"I never knew those two were an item," Elizabeth remarked when she   
noticed John and Deb dancing.   
  
"Me neither. But can you blame them for keeping it a secret, with all   
the gossip in County?" he said, chuckling softly.   
  
"Certainly can't," Elizabeth said, chuckling as well.   
  
  
They continued to dance for a few more songs, getting more   
comfortable with each other. They stayed silent all of that time,   
until John spoke. "We need to talk, Deb."   
  
"Now?" she asked, her voice softer then he had ever heard.   
  
He simply nodded, and she reacted by taking her hands off his neck,   
and starting to walk away from the dance floor. "There's a porch   
here... We can talk there..."   
  
He followed her outside, and walked over to the distant side of the   
porch, leaning on the banister, and she soon joined him.   
  
They were silent for a few minutes, both looking ahead, into the   
beauty of the night.   
  
"So... What did you want to talk about?"   
  
"Do you remember what I told you before? About that woman I love that   
doesn't see me like I wish she would?"   
  
"Yeah," she said with a nod.   
  
"I just danced with her." 


	2. One Thing

Title: One Thing (aka Everything You... part 2)   
Author: Noa   
Previously: It's time for the annual ER banquet, and John makes a   
confession to Deb.   
Spoiler: Tiny mention of episode 2, season 8 event, but other then   
that, no spoiler at all.   
Time line: Somewhere between season 7 and 8.   
Rating: I dunno... PG-13?   
Archive: Oh, please do just let me know where...   
Feedback: YES! Sharlot12@h...   
Thanks/Dedication: Blair, my LLT, for waiting so long. ;)   
All the Jinters at FF, for inspiring me, and not letting me lose hope.   
Kee, my dear, for beta reading. You rock.   
Disclaimer: They belong to NBC/John Wells/whatever. All of 'em. I   
just take them, use 'em, and ditch 'em. Yes, like a true bitch. ;)   
  
++++++   
  
"You're kidding."   
  
"Why would I?"   
  
"I don't know... I just..."   
  
"Don't believe it?"   
  
"Well, yeah..."   
  
He looked at her, waiting for her to continue. After several moments   
of silence, he asked "Why?"   
  
"I don't know, I just... I never guessed."   
  
"You don't know everything, Abby," he said with a soft smile.   
  
"Guess so."   
  
+++   
  
Silence. He hated that silence. Yes, silence could be good on some   
occasions. Sometimes you just wanted to be left alone. And alone   
usually meant silence, where you could think things over, and not be   
disturbed. Sometimes you needed that silence.   
  
But this time wasn't one of them. Damn, he needed her to say ?   
something-. Anything. She could say she hated him. Say that he   
shouldn't fall for her. That she won't ever be interested in him as   
more then a friend. That she ?doesn't- even want to be his friend   
anymore.   
  
Anything she said would be better then this damn silence that drove   
him crazy.   
  
"John..."   
  
That wasn't much... But at least she said something. And she didn't   
run away, that was a good sign, wasn't it?   
  
Or maybe... Maybe she was just teasing him, wanting to see his   
reaction. But Deb wasn't like that. Even when she had something harsh   
to say... She always said it so nicely, that you completely forgot   
that it ?was- harsh. That was part of her charm, and one of the   
things that made him fall for her, back in medical school days. Only,   
he didn't want to admit it until now. It was too hard... And then   
there was Abby. It might've taken him some time to realize, but he   
eventually confessed that he didn't ?really- love her.   
  
"I... I... I don't... Know what to say."   
  
He let out a nervous chuckle, "I guess that's better then the   
response I was expecting..."   
  
"What were you? Expecting, that is."   
  
He let out another nervous chuckle. Seemed like he had found himself   
a new way to relieve stress. "That you'd say you hate me... Want me   
out of your life... Something like that..."   
  
She turned around so she was now facing his body. His goddamn   
beautiful body. "Hey," Deb said, taking John's hand in hers, and   
whispered, "Never."   
  
"Deb..." he said gently as he turned to face her.   
  
"Shhh..." she said, putting the index finger of her free hand on his   
mouth. "Let me talk, okay?"   
  
He nodded. Heck, even if he ?wanted-, he wouldn't be able to talk   
now. Just the feel of her finger on his mouth, her hand in his... Why   
did he wait so long? Denial. Yes, he could always blame denial for   
keeping him from telling her anything.   
  
"I gotta admit... I was a bit shocked when you... said it was me. I   
never thought you meant me when I asked you about Abby before...   
Yeah, I hoped," his face lit up with a smile when she said it, but he   
let her continue. "But I figured it was false hope. You never really   
gave me any sign we were, or will be, more then just friends... And   
now... Now that you said that... Now that I know it ?wasn't- just a   
false hope... There's just one thing I want to do."   
  
He looked at her worriedly, fearing he might've just dreamt all she   
said right now...   
  
But her next move proved him wrong. She stood on her toes, until she   
was close enough for him. "This," she said, and closed down the space   
between their faces, meeting his soft lips.   
  
He released his hand from hers, and wrapped both of his arms around   
her tiny, perfect waist, holding her as close to him as possible. ?   
She- was kissing him. Out of her own free will, without him driving   
her into this, -she- was kissing ?him-. In his wildest dreams, he   
never thought this day would come. Deb Chen was kissing him. Not   
because he told her, not because she had to... Because she ?wanted-   
to.   
  
Her hands easily found their way up his back, finally stopping at his   
neck, which she held on to, afraid to let him go. She teased his lips   
with her tongue, until he gladly opened his mouth, inviting her in.   
Their tongues danced for some moments that seemed way too short for   
both, until Deb pulled away slightly, leaning her forehead against   
John's.   
  
"May I just say... Wow?" she asked with a sheepish smile.   
  
"Only if I can say I definitely second you on that," he replied,   
chuckling. Only, it wasn't a nervous chuckle now, not at all. He   
wasn't nervous anymore. Especially since he knew that no matter how   
messed up his life was now, there was at least one thing he could   
count on to keep him sane.   
  
Deb.   
  
She nodded, and returned his chuckle. "And I thought I was gonna have   
the worst time ever tonight."   
  
He grinned his oh-so-familiar-and-loved grin, "I'm more then glad you   
proved you wrong, Deb."   
  
She considered reminding him, for the 635 millionth time since she   
came back, that her name was Jing Mei, but decided to shrug it off at   
the last minute. She would have plenty of time to lecture him about   
her name later; right now, she wanted to enjoy the moment. 


	3. It Starts With You

Title: One Thing (aka Everything You... part 2)   
Author: Noa   
Previously: It's time for the annual ER banquet, and John makes a   
confession to Deb.   
Spoiler: Tiny mention of episode 2, season 8 event, but other then   
that, no spoiler at all.   
Time line: Somewhere between season 7 and 8.   
Rating: I dunno... PG-13?   
Archive: Oh, please do just let me know where...   
Feedback: YES! Sharlot12@h...   
Thanks/Dedication: Blair, my LLT, for waiting so long. ;)   
All the Jinters at FF, for inspiring me, and not letting me lose hope.   
Kee, my dear, for beta reading. You rock.   
Disclaimer: They belong to NBC/John Wells/whatever. All of 'em. I   
just take them, use 'em, and ditch 'em. Yes, like a true bitch. ;)   
  
++++++   
  
They continued to hold each other for a few minutes, neither moving,   
from the fear of ruining the moment. They were both silent the whole   
time, each drowning deep in thoughts.   
  
Both had done something they had wanted to do for a long time,   
probably since around the time they first met, almost 7 years ago.   
And while John had feared ever letting Deb know how he felt about   
her, he was now grateful that he had done so. Her reaction wasn't   
what he expected, not at all. It was the complete opposite of what he   
imagined.   
  
Although she never said the big three words, she was able to give him   
that message in other words. Which was another thing she often did,   
and he had always liked. But he did want to hear those words from   
her. And deep inside, he knew they'd come. It might take her a while,   
but they would.   
  
Deb smiled softly, although she knew John couldn't see her face now,   
since her head was leaning against his chest. She didn't know where   
they were heading now... But maybe living the moment wasn't that   
bad, from time to time. If there was one thing she knew for sure, it   
was that she loved him. She really did. And she definitely intended   
on showing that to him, once they'd figured things out.   
  
Almost as if he was reading her mind, John pulled away reluctantly,   
quickly scanning the porch, and spotting a few chairs at the left   
side.   
  
"Deb..." he said, and she looked up at him. "We... uh... We need to   
talk... Now..."   
  
She nodded wordlessly, and he led her to the chairs, sitting down   
after seeing she did.   
  
"What we said... Arr... What do you think about all that?" Okay, so   
maybe those weren't the right words. But with his mind being nearly   
blank it -was- all he could come up with.   
  
She looked at him, searching for his eyes. Hers met his, and she saw   
confusion in them. She had to admit - that confusion scared her a   
bit. Maybe he regretted saying anything? She wanted to stay positive,   
but just seeing his eyes... It drew most of her confidence away from   
her.   
  
"Well... I told you I has hoping you were talking about me... And you   
can understand how I feel about you from that, right?"   
  
He nodded but stayed quiet, letting her talk once again.   
  
"And I'm glad you told me, because... Because I probably would've   
never said anything to you about it. I was scared."   
  
"And now?"   
  
"If I'm still scared? Yes. But not from the same thing. I feared ever   
telling you how I feel, because I feared rejection. And now I know   
you won't... reject me. I once gave all my trust to one man, and he   
let me down badly. I trust you, John, I really do, but I can't help   
but being scared of being left alone again."   
  
He wrapped one of his arms around her slim body, gently and slowly   
massaged her back. "No matter what, Deb... Whatever happens... I'm -   
not- going to hurt you, in any way. And... Deb... Do you want to tell   
me what happened?"   
  
She shocked her head, "Not right now. I will tell you, when it's the   
right time. Just not now."   
  
He nodded in reassurance, "When you're ready, I'll be here. I   
promise."   
  
She smiled softly. "Thank you. And despite me being scared... I want   
to give -us- a chance. It's something I've been wanting for too damn   
long, I can't just throw it away."   
  
"In that case," he smiled, "Jing Mei, would you agree to go to dinner   
with me tomorrow?" he asked, emphasizing her name.   
  
She chuckled at the emphasizing, her smile growing as he   
continued. "I'd love to."   
  
"Eightish?"   
  
"That would definitely work. And you know where I live," she said,   
winking.   
  
"It's a date then," he grinned.   
  
She nodded, grinning as well. "And we should probably head back   
inside..."   
  
"Yeah, I guess we should."   
  
"Oh, and John?" she said as they both rose up from their chairs.   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Can we keep it quiet for now? I don't feel like being the main   
gossiping issue between County's nursing staff..."   
  
"I was thinking the same thing, actually. I want to see how it'll   
work, first. We can figure out the rest when the time comes."   
  
"Fine with me," she smiled.   
  
He rested his arm around her waist, guiding her back into the hall.   
He pulled his hand back as they entered, causing Deb to giggle.   
  
"Doesn't seem like anyone missed us," she commented after doing a   
quick scan of the place, seeing everyone was basically busy with   
themselves.   
  
"That will probably save us some gossiping," he replied, and she   
simply nodded.   
  
+ + +   
  
It was around 6pm, and Deb was just finishing signing on charts and   
release forms before she was going to be going back home, to prepare   
for her date with John.   
  
Her date with John.   
  
In her sweetest dreams, she never thought they'd have one. But they   
did. In about two hours from now, John would be taking her to her   
favorite restaurant. She briefly wondered how he knew. Did she ever   
tell him? She couldn't remember, but thought it was sweet of him.   
  
Just thinking about him brought a smile to her face, and made her   
sail into day dreaming. But she wasn't complaining, not at all. It   
was nice to have something else to think about, beside Kerry nudging   
her all day about various things,which mostly weren't even her   
responsibility. But it -was- Kerry. And Kerry never really seemed to   
like her... Or anyone else. OK, so maybe there were some people she   
actually liked. She wasn't one of them, not at all... But John was.   
That was something.   
  
+ + +   
  
A few minutes after 7pm, Deb was walking down the street to her   
place, after getting off the El. She threw her bag aside as she   
entered the apartment, quickly making her way into the shower. About   
15 minutes later she was already out, drying her self with a soft   
blue towel. She smiled as she remembered when she got that towel.   
John bought it for her, on her last birthday, and it had her name   
embroidered on yet in navy blue line. Well, not really her name. It   
had Deb written on it. But she wasn't complaining. There was   
something very comforting about that towel. Whenever she thought   
about him, which made her feel lonely, she would take the towel   
out... Feel the soft fabric... And she believed she could actually -   
smell- him as she did it. She chuckled at the thought, a smile   
forming on her face. Thanks to whoever-it-was, she wouldn't need to   
imagine him next to her. He would be right there. She still couldn't   
believe how lucky she was. First of all, for having him in her life,   
even if just as a friend. And second... For them being more then just   
friends. They kissed last night, and it seemed like nothing and   
everything had changed.   
  
She opened up her closet, looking over it. Damn, she needed some new   
clothes. Too bad she didn't think about it earlier... When she still   
had time to go out and buy them.   
  
Oh, well. Her old clothes would have to do for today; she could go   
shopping some other day. She pulled out a black mini-dress, one of   
her favorites. She wanted to look pretty... For him. She wanted him   
to want her... Just as much as she wanted him. Despite all he said   
the night before... She found it hard to trust him. Not because she   
didn't trust -him-, but because she had generally lost her trust in   
people. But she had to trust him... If she wanted it to work, she   
would have to trust him. She probably would, with time... She just   
hoped he'd be patient enough until then. 


End file.
